Colorado Musings

Sitting on the deck of my dear friends home, overlooking a lake and the Colorado mountains, feeling the cool breeze and sun on my face, hearing the geese and hawks as they fly over head, and experiencing that feeling down deep inside that says "yes, do this".
I want to write. I want to ramble. I want to write big, I want to write small, I want to write about the mundane and the profound, I want to write about highs, lows and those flat places in the middle. I want to not worry about form, content, comprehension, entertainment value, an audience or correct grammar and punctuation. I want to spill it out and see what it becomes, without attachment to the outcome. I want to let go of fears that have stopped me, questions that have haunted me or doubts that have squashed me.
Life is all new for me. My life today looks nothing like my life of last year, much less the year before that or the year before that. Towards the end of my 23 year marriage I kept saying "I want the second half to look different than the first half". This wasn't to say the first half wasn't wonderful - it was. Raising two kids, married to a good man, starting a career that feeds my soul and surrounding myself with people who do the same. I only meant that I didn't want to retire to a rocking chair, spend time taking care of a house, stay in the town we had always been in, and keep doing what I had always done. I didn't know that request would manifest into divorce and living alone. I would never have had the wisdom to ask for that, or know that is exactly what my soul needed. Now that I'm here, I can see the Divine perfection in it all. Today my days are filled with a work that supports my personal passions, ideas that are expanding into realities, friends that feed me, family that supports me, a community that embraces me and the opportunity to give it all back - over and over and over.
I am a woman of service.
I am a woman of surrender.
I am a woman of passion.
I am a woman of adventure.
I hold my babes close to my chest - even as they grow
I give my heart to those I love - even as they know
I am moving
I am changing
I am like the leaves of a tree
As the seasons progress I become more brilliant and brave
Watching for what is unknown
Reveling in the journey and letting go of any imagined destination
I am here, I am now, I am all there is.