A Celery Moment

A celery moment is that flash of a second when the constriction around my heart releases, sort of like when I unfasten the tight wire wrap around a stalk of celery. When I unwrap it the celery sort of releases and relaxes…..”takes a breath”. I’ve had a few moments when I physically feel that release, when something shifts inside, when something lets go, when the fear subsides or the sadness passes. Recently I had one of those moments.

I have lost plenty of sleep over break ups, changes, shifts and struggles. Hashing and rehashing things said, wishing it had gone differently, kicking myself for what I think I "should" have done.

On one of these occasions, after hours of tossing and turning I texted my brother, told him I was a mess, and he drove up in the dark hours of morning to take me for a drive. I started with the tearful download of the situation. It was the third or fourth time I had heard myself telling the story, and each time I told it, it seemed to have a little more clarity or a little more perspective added to it. This time as I sat in his car watching a most glorious sunrise the wire band around my heart released and I had my celery moment.

There was a time I was barely stepping out into the dating world. I had spent the previous year entangled with a lover, and I was having a hard time undoing that web. I knew I needed to get out into life again if I was going to make that shift, so I started with very unsuccessful internet dates. I wanted to have some real experiences, but I also wasn’t ready nor did I want to step into another relationship. Then Tantra Retreat became available, and life changed. I had the opportunity to experience an amazing, opening, connecting, trusting, present practice with a wonderful, safe, beautiful, insightful, like-minded, man who opened me up to the Universal Connection and held me in safety, love, light, laughter, wholeness, beauty and bliss. He has been the perfect salve on a wounded heart, the sweet balm for my sadness, the bridge to finding my own heart and brilliance and the confirmation of my radiance. I am stronger, wiser, empowered, full and ready for whatever is next on my journey. I have a new set of viewpoints, I have a new set of understanding, and I have a new set of skills. What a beautiful bridge and preparation he has offered me into what is next.

What a GIFT that my “bridge man” was not an ass! That I was blessed with my bridge man being so beautiful as to leave me feeling fuller and richer for our time together instead of bruised and used is more than I ever could have imagined. I believe, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that like attracts like, that my field of energy attracts the same, that my attracting a man of such calibur, heart, soul and being reflects to me that I am the same, and that I will hold that radiance as I attract again. He has helped me trust my own radiance to know that my life is pure perfection.

Now my heart relaxes a little more each day, and those celery moments leave me feeling open, expansive and available to more joy and bliss than I ever could have imagined.